Debra Fine’s company – The Fine Art of Small Talk is focused on teaching professionals conversational skills for use while networking and speaking with clients. The objective in all professional encounters should be to make a good impression and leave people wanting more. To do that you must be bright, be brief, and then be gone!

Here is the second installment of her twelve tips to help you master your technique and your self confidence when the need for small talk arises.

7.  Have something interesting to contribute. Keep up-to-date with current events and culture because this will provide you with great conversation builders. Lead with “What do you think of…? Have you heard about…? What is your take on…?” Stay away from negative or controversial topics and refrain from long winded stories, or giving a lot of detail in a casual conversation. If someone asks you what time it is – don’t tell them how to build a clock!

8.  If there are people you want to meet, the best way to approach them is to be introduced by someone they respect. Ask a mutual friend or associate to do the honors.

9.  If someone hands you a business card, accept it as a gift. Hold it with both hands and take a moment to read what is on the card. When you are done, put it in a shirt pocket, purse or wallet to show that it is valued.

10. Watch your body language. People who look ill at ease make others feel uncomfortable. Act confident and comfortable, even when you are not.

11. Before entering a conversation that is already in progress, observe and listen. You never want to squash the dynamics with an unsuited or ill-timed remark.

12. Have a few exit lines ready so you can both gracefully move on. For example: “I need to check in with a client over there.”  Or “I skipped lunch today so I need to visit the buffet.” Or you can offer to refresh their drink.

Becoming proficient with small talk just takes practice and the awareness of how to handle conversations. You must be an active listener and observe people and how they are connecting so you can enter a conversation comfortably. Debra Fine has shared some of her expert tips so get out there and start talking!

For 25 years Carol Covin enjoyed a career in the computer industry as a software engineer but in 1997 something significant happened that would change the course of her career dramatically. Carol’s colleague, with inoperable stomach cancer, found an obscure cancer treatment developed by a scientist in the late 1970s. It was held by a private scientific library the scientist endowed to hold his papers before he died in 1986. Carol’s friend followed the scientist’s suggested cancer treatment protocol and his 30-pound tumor was gone in six weeks. Read Full Story

While networking your way into the job market should take up 90% of your time, if you are an experienced candidate you may also want to consider working with a recruiter. Remember that recruiters are working with a myriad of candidates at once so you must be communicative and above all – know your strengths. You must also be willing to do the work on your end to be well prepared for opportunities.

Recruiters are not career coaches who will polish your interview skills and help you figure out what you want to be when you grow up. They are masters of professional relationships with golden rolodexes brimming with contacts. But remember, their reputation is on the line with every candidate they put forward so you need to earn your way onto a headhunter’s roster.

Entry level candidates are of no value to a recruiter and need to earn their wings in the field before they are eligible for a lateral or executive hire. The executive search business is driven by the clients (the organization or business) who pay the recruiter fees. Recruiters are hired to find people who match their clients’ requirements, not people who merely come close to the mark. Most importantly, recruiters are hired to find candidates the employers would not otherwise have access to. Often these are passive candidates who are not looking for a new opportunity; candidates who are currently employed, most likely with a competitor.

The resumes candidates submit to headhunters are used to screen people out rather than in. You have 15 to 30 seconds to get their attention before they move on. The things they look for? Do you work for one of the target companies they’ve identified? Are there key words or phrases that “pop” in the summary section of your resume that match their requirements? Is your last/current title consistent with the position they are working on? If a quick scan of your resume doesn’t reveal a match on these key variables, chances are they’ll pass.

The headhunter is the gate keeper – especially on a retained search. Treat your interview with an executive recruiter just like your interview with the hiring company. Understand the position, the company, and the industry. Ask questions. If you wouldn’t say something to the hiring manager, don’t say it to the headhunter!

While we all know that skills are transferable, the executive search community is not going to help you transition into a new industry or a new function. Their clients hire them to find very specific expertise. Since they work for the client who is paying their fee, the focus is to present candidates who meet their requirements. The best way for you to transfer to a new industry or function is through networking and working with a career coach.

A friend and colleague in the legal arena, Frank Kimball of Kimball Professional Management has a firm grasp of the legal market in Chicago http://www.kimballprofessional.com/. Frank advises leading law firms, partners, associates, and law schools on lateral and entry-level hiring. This includes lateral placements, compensation and hiring strategy, training interviewers, and counseling lawyers and students. Frank’s niche market is different than many executive search firms because the hiring protocol of the law firm world is unique. He speaks at law schools across the nation to empower students in the pipeline to take ownership of their job search and polish the necessary skills to be marketable to law firms.

Frank sees this as an investment since these rookie lawyers will be his future lateral and partner level placements. He is grooming the next generation of lawyers and building his candidate pool in advance. Bottom line – Frank says that candidates must be a good fit for what his firms need. They must have a track record of experience and impeccable references because his head is on the chopping block if he delivers a less than stellar candidate to a firm

The statistics are telling – only 10-12% of all job openings are filled by executive recruiters. On average, a headhunter talks to at least 10 people who are qualified for a position in order to find 1 candidate they want to present to their client. The reality is that most people in transition find their next opportunity through networking. So, if you’re spending the majority of your time talking to recruiters, you are significantly reducing your chances for success. Building professional relationships is by far the most successful job search strategy for entry-level candidates and senior level executives. Go forth and network!

At age 53, Sue Heltzel made a major career change that took her 1,000 miles away from home and into a new profession she knew nothing about. A successful car saleswoman for 10+ years in South Dakota, Sue left the comfort of her secure job and surroundings to join her two sons as co-owner of a remodeling company – Putting on the Fix. Read Full Story

Early on in her career Ellen Covner, like many other professional women, noticed that working with men could be a very mixed experience. She also learned that group and workplace dynamics often had a style and language all their own that did not promote cooperation, creativity and “drive.” She came to realize that as important as it was to be self-supporting and have a good income, money was not a sufficient motivator to stay in a “good job.” After 20+ years practicing health law in major hospitals and law firms, she was ready for new challenges. She wanted a change that would renew her creativity and joy in her work. The call of the outdoors beckoned and enticed her to focus on promoting environments that nourish people and their properties. Read Full Story

According to Keith Ferrazzi, a networking expert and author of: Never Eat Alone, you should build your resource team before you need it. Nothing is worse than the image of the unemployed individual desperately taking business cards at a professional conference in order to find a job. The reality is that you should start connecting with people and building your community long before you need anything.

We know that networking is not just about finding a job but building your circle of friends, mentors, and colleagues as part of your personal Board of Directors. If you are in a job now or developing a business you should be thinking ahead about the ways you want to move forward and how the people on your resource team might play a role.  Building trusting relationships takes time and earning the opportunity to ask your network for support is not instantaneous, or a given.

Former President, Bill Clinton was famous for keeping index cards with notes about each new person he met daily. His forward thinking attitude helped him build a strong network even while in college as he planned for his future political career. Known for his ability to connect with people and form a personal bond, Clinton utilized his index card system to recall important facts about people he met.

I encourage my students and clients to write notes on the back of business cards they acquire to remember specifics about people. This can be especially helpful after an interview when you are composing a thank you note.  And when it comes to stewarding your network, you should write thank you notes and follow-up with phone calls intermittently to show your sincere appreciation, even when you are not seeking their assistance.

As an experiment, start logging the new people you meet each day and jot down a few notes about them on an index card, à la Bill Clinton. At the end of the week reflect upon the number of new contacts you have made and take stock of these new members of your community. From the UPS delivery person to the new client at work, this is how you grow your network one person at a time.

I believe it takes a village to develop a career in the professional world and the first step is to surround yourself with people you respect and trust. The next step is to be conscious of how you can pay-it-forward and help others in return. We introduce new relationships into our lives every day whether consciously or not, and having the awareness that you can help others is not only good for the karmic circle of life, it’s just the right thing to do.

Angela Jia Kim, CEO and Founder of Om Aroma & Co. and Co-Founder of Savor the Success has built her business on the Give, Give, Get rule when networking. Nothing is more of a turn off than someone who is in it just for themselves. When you are a genuine networker and operate from a position of authenticity people are more apt to help you. After all, business is all about human interaction so considering how you can help others will increase your personal capital.

Paying it forward is not just applicable to networking.  I have interviewed 100+ women across the country for my career transition book and the majority of them talk about their commitment to giving back. Whether it is volunteering your time and expertise or donating a percentage of targeted proceeds towards a worthy cause, generosity and the spirit of community is being celebrated on a grand scale.

Careers are a life long journey and we’ve all had people that were instrumental in helping us along the way in good times and in bad. Make an effort to be conscious about how you are helping others because what goes around really does come around. It may require some new mindsets, behaviors and strategies, but at the most basic level, all it requires is that you make a choice. By giving back, you just might be a role model for someone else and help make the pay-it-forward behavior the norm for everyone.

Business cards can be traced back to the 1600’s in France during the reign of Louis XIV. They were first known as visiting cards and individuals wrote promissory notes and messages on blank cards. They later evolved into a business tool and a way for merchants to market their wares. Today business cards are still a tool of the trade and a way to leave an impression with a new personal or professional acquaintance.

If you work for an established organization chances are you utilize the business card as a networking tool with regularity. I highly recommend that those looking for employment should create personal business cards, also known as networking cards to ramp up the effectiveness of the professional relationship building process. This leave-behind tool can be what helps someone remember you and it provides your contact information which is critical in the follow-up process.

Job seekers should create a simple card with full name, cell phone, and email. If you have a niche market career path (lawyer, chef, accountant, etc.) then you can also include a title. Advanced degrees should be included if applicable to the career field you are pursuing. You should carry your cards everywhere you go and be ready to share them generously with new contacts.

There is no need to spend a lot on business cards. Vista Print has some very reasonable cards in a variety of styles or you can design your own using a Microsoft Word template. Have your template copied or printed onto cardstock and laser cut at your local copy store and you’ll be good to go. This way you can print small quantities at a time.

After I meet someone new, I write notes on the back of their business card to help me remember our interaction. Even in the technology driven world of social media, the business card is an effective tool that will never be obsolete. Exchanging cards in person leads to conversation and gives you an opportunity to showcase your personal brand and value-add. Business cards are the currency used in building new relationships – make sure you are packing this all important tool.

You’ve assembled your contact list and now it’s time to actually reach out to people in your network. You have a clear picture of your strengths, what you are looking for, and customized questions at-the-ready for your new professional contacts.

Here are best practices to lead you to success.

1. Stay Positive. Be prepared to speak with anyone who will listen; don’t be afraid of rejection. Be friendly and put yourself out there.
2. Search out a common denominator. Figure out the common interests you share with those with whom you speak. Build the conversation around that topic to get the ball rolling and ease nerves.
3. Take risks and reach out to some wish list contacts or join a networking group that could lead to something significant.
4. Ask open-ended questions in conversations. Ask questions about who, what, where, when, and how as opposed to those that can be answered with a simple yes or no. This form of questioning opens up the discussion and shows listeners that you are interested in them.
5. Become known as a powerful resource for others. When you are known as a strong resource, people will turn to you for suggestions, ideas, and referrals. This keeps you visible to them and gives you a chance to give back.
6. Consider volunteering. This is a great way to stay visible and give back to groups that have helped you.
7. Make yourself useful. Reach out to others in a capacity where you can actually do something good and show off your skills at the same time. Join a board of a worthy organization; offer to take notes at a conference where people in your desired career sector will be, and look for opportunities to solve problems.
8. Be gracious and always thank the people (in writing) who have been helpful. Stewarding relationships in your network is essential for your professional reputation and it’s most appreciated.

Networking is the practice of building and stewarding professional relationships that you will use throughout your career and it will also introduce you to the wonders of the hidden job market.

Networking is a word that often strikes fear in many job seekers. You might feel especially nervous if you are one of those people that claim you don’t know anyone. The point of networking is to develop your community and gather information. It’s about being genuine, authentic, and building trust and relationships with the idea that some day you will be able to pay-it-forward and help others. It’s not about asking for a job.

Here are some strategies for getting started:

1. Ask yourself what your goals are in developing networking relationships so that you can seek out individuals that will help you gather relevant information.
2. Have a plan. Be well organized as you develop your network. Track the people you meet with on a spreadsheet or calendar and plan for timely follow-ups.
3. Know your personal brand. Have a clear understanding of what you do well and what makes you special or different from others doing the same thing. In order to get referrals, you must be able to articulate what your special sauce is to others.
4. Know what you want. Be able to articulate what you are looking for and how others may help you.
5. Look to your existing contacts first. The best place to start is not with cold calling or a blind email campaign. Reach out to the people you already know! These people form the base of your networking foundation and will lead you to referrals.
6. Tap into your online networks. Let your contacts on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn know that you’re job-hunting and update your online profiles regularly.
7. As you gain momentum, move from the people you know in-person and online to people you haven’t met before. Reach out to referrals you collect from your existing contacts. Ask for an informational interview or job shadow opportunity and be sure to thank the new contact as well as the person who referred you.
8. Make a phone call whenever possible. Distinguish yourself by connecting in a more personal way than with an introductory email. Be prepared to leave an articulate message that includes your contact information. The objective is to eventually meet in-person.

The most important piece of advice is to get out there and start meeting people. You will gain confidence as you continue to sharpen this skill but there is no time like the present to get started. May the networking force be with you!