Margie Warrell wrote a compelling piece in Forbes about what women can do more of to make their way to the top executive posts. While men are promoted on potential, women are promoted on performance historically. Men have more role models (other men) and women have very few female executives in leadership roles to seek out as sponsors and mentors. Some companies are making progress with family-friendly facilities and flexibility but women still play the most active role in child rearing so barriers often reflect making choices between family and career when men rarely have to choose between the two.

Warrell offers 3 crucial paradigm shifts for upwardly mobile career women to consider:

Mindset: a fundamental shift into a leader mindset. How we see ourselves determines how others see us. Create a vision that includes the type of impact you want to make incrementally from 5 years to 25 years and set your compass to move forward.

Capacity: intentionally cultivating habits that build resilience and grow leadership capacity. The higher you climb as a leader, the weightier your demands. Add to the do more with less by being more intentional about doing things inside your control so you can better respond to those which aren’t. Build upon your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual resilience, and stamina to respond with greater agility and flexibility.

Courage: a willingness to step into conversations with greater candor and boldness. Women are naturally strong in the dimensions of emotional intelligence – a strong predictor of leadership success. Be courageous in your conversations. Make bold requests, speak candidly, and learn to say no.

Women do make great leaders and as so aptly put by Margie Warrell, women who rise to the ranks of power will not be changed by that power but will instead change the nature of it.

Emotional Intelligence helps us connect and communicate with colleagues on a deeper level. In this very global world-of-work, EI helps us create stronger multi-cultural relationships and celebrate differences by allowing distinctive points of view to be valued.

Typically, people fee confident about their own reality but the key to Emotional Intelligence is to help others to be heard so their reality is honored. The cues for EI are relayed through body language as well as verbal and written communication. A savvy emotionally intelligent person is able to pick up on feelings or emotions hidden beneath the words and use that awareness to build stronger professional relationships in the workplace.

Here are some tips to help polish your Emotional Intelligence skills:

• Instead of focusing on yourself at work, shift the focus of engagement to others.
• Practice active listening and connect with your eyes, ears, and heart to what a person is saying.
• Slow down and really focus on the person you are interacting with.
• Notice body language and become aware of another person’s comfort zone posture.
• Utilize validating language instead of always questioning or probing.
• Authenticate what they have said without judgment.
• Be in the moment and maximize the way you engage with others.
• If you sense frustration or heightened emotions, repeat back to them what you have heard to establish clarity.
• Respond to others the way you would want them to respond to you.

Awareness is half the battle with Emotional Intelligence. Experiment with your Emotional Intelligence IQ and note your consciousness and responsiveness with colleagues in a given day. If you feel the need to make adjustments, do so incrementally and begin to listen more actively to plan your strategy. Mastering EI is an investment in building, maintaining, and stewarding your professional relationships.

Quite often people brush off the soft skills as the touchy feely people skills that serious professionals don’t need. Nothing could be farther from the truth! The soft skills include abilities and traits such as self-awareness, initiative, time management, empathy, political astuteness, integrity and many more.

Straight from Peggy – here are some of the top soft skills lessons she teaches in her book:

• Knowing yourself is as important as knowing how to do the job.
• Learn when to stick and when to shift or the details will hang you.
• Your procrastination is trying to tell you something.
• Get smart about asking dumb questions.
• You don’t need to be everyone’s best friend—that’s what dogs are for.
• Know where to draw the line between self-improvement and self-destruction.
• When it comes to gossip, learn the art of deflection.
• Keep your visibility when you’re not face-to-face.
• Don’t take it personally.
• Stop stereotypes from sinking you.
• You’re the boss, stupid, that’s why they hang on your every word.
• Get out of your own way.

I have bookshelves and files full of favorite resources that I will share with you to empower your journey of career success and satisfaction. Peggy’s book is a staple that I recommend to all my students and private clients. www.bettersoftskills.com Enjoy!