Emotional Intelligence (EI) describes the  ability to identify, assess, manage and control the emotions of one’s self, of others, and of groups. In addition to having a cadre of transferable skills relevant to a particular career field, employers are looking for candidates with sound emotional intelligence when hiring.

Emotional Intelligence helps us connect and communicate with colleagues on a deeper level. In this very global world-of-work, EI helps us create stronger multi-cultural relationships and celebrate differences by allowing distinctive points of view to be valued.

Typically, people fee confident about their own reality but the key to Emotional Intelligence is to help others to be heard so their reality is honored. The cues for EI are relayed through body language as well as verbal and written communication. A savvy emotionally intelligent person is able to pick up on feelings or emotions hidden beneath the words and use that awareness to build stronger professional relationships in the workplace.

Here are some tips to help polish your Emotional Intelligence skills:

• Instead of focusing on yourself at work, shift the focus of engagement to others.
• Practice active listening and connect with your eyes, ears, and heart to what a person is saying.
• Slow down and really focus on the person you are interacting with.
• Notice body language and become aware of another person’s comfort zone posture.
• Utilize validating language instead of always questioning or probing.
• Authenticate what they have said without judgment.
• Be in the moment and maximize the way you engage with others.
• If you sense frustration or heightened emotions, repeat back to them what you have heard to establish clarity.
• Respond to others the way you would want them to respond to you.

Awareness is half the battle with Emotional Intelligence. Experiment with your Emotional Intelligence IQ and note your consciousness and responsiveness with colleagues in a given day. If you feel the need to make adjustments, do so incrementally and begin to listen more actively to plan your strategy. Mastering EI is an investment in building, maintaining, and stewarding your professional relationships.

My last entry discussed the importance of recognizing your unique skill set, so I want to take a moment to highlight adaptive skills often referred to as soft skills or emotional intelligence competencies. Peggy Klaus, a nationally acclaimed Fortune 500 communication and leadership coach is a friend and mentor of mine and I am a big fan of her book: The Hard Truth about Soft Skills: Workplace Lessons Smart People Wish They’d Learned Sooner (Collins, February 2008, paperback).

Quite often people brush off the soft skills as the touchy feely people skills that serious professionals don’t need. Nothing could be farther from the truth! The soft skills include abilities and traits such as self-awareness, initiative, time management, empathy, political astuteness, integrity and many more.

Straight from Peggy – here are some of the top soft skills lessons she teaches in her book:

• Knowing yourself is as important as knowing how to do the job.
• Learn when to stick and when to shift or the details will hang you.
• Your procrastination is trying to tell you something.
• Get smart about asking dumb questions.
• You don’t need to be everyone’s best friend—that’s what dogs are for.
• Know where to draw the line between self-improvement and self-destruction.
• When it comes to gossip, learn the art of deflection.
• Keep your visibility when you’re not face-to-face.
• Don’t take it personally.
• Stop stereotypes from sinking you.
• You’re the boss, stupid, that’s why they hang on your every word.
• Get out of your own way.

I have bookshelves and files full of favorite resources that I will share with you to empower your journey of career success and satisfaction. Peggy’s book is a staple that I recommend to all my students and private clients. www.bettersoftskills.com Enjoy!